


Forever (My Best Friend)

by Notsociallove



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Gen, Idiots in Love, Jim and Pam type thing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2016-04-12
Packaged: 2018-05-09 11:28:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5538170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Notsociallove/pseuds/Notsociallove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Killian Jones and Emma Swan work together at a local paper company. It's exactly what you'd expect, but everything you've wanted. (A take on Jim and Pam, captain swan style)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Button

_She typing vigorously on the keys, waiting for the new guy to arrive. The whole month has been a blur, so some change to the routine is the only thing keeping her going._

_The familiar creak of the glass door makes her look up. He looks nervous, it's obvious as he comes up to her desk and tries a smile._

_"Um," he coughs to clear his throat, "I'm Killian Jones. The, uh, new hire." His Irish accent leads the entire office to turn towards him, but it's his blue eyes that catch her attention._

_Emma smiles. "Emma Swan." She stand from her desk to point out his own. "Enjoy this moment because you're never going back to this time before you met your desk mate, David." He gives her a funny look, but she only shrugs and points out his desk again which he heads to slightly unwillingly. His eyes seem to linger for just a moment longer before surveying the rest of his surroundings._

_As he takes his seat and lays only a pencil on the desk, she finds a minute to look him over._

_The dark blue shirt and black tie really bring out his ocean eyes, the ones she had to convince herself not to stare at just a moment before. His hair is slightly messy, like he just rolled out of bed and forgot to run a comb through it and instead used his finger. There's a slight scrubs covering his face as well, leaving her to assume he'd been running late for the first day. Irish as well. Probably new by how thick it seemed. Another glances lets her privy to a large yawn and head shake. Definitely not used to the time difference yet._

_His head turns in her generally direction, and she immediately ducks her head to scan the empty computer screen. Her cheeks turn red at being caught examining him._

**Two Years Later**

He notices her eyes drooping every few minutes and for the thousandth time he wonders if she's been sleeping. Just looking at her hunched over posture, he knows she's stressed. Getting up from his desk, only receiving a few looks from David, he heads to receptions and taps on the counter.

****

"Swan, I have an idea."

****

She shakes her head, intent on the task of whiting out some forms. "I'm busy, Killian." The threat of downsizing was breathing down everyone's neck these last few months. To be honest, he's not worried. It's not like he plans on making a career out of an office job. That'd be sad. He has much bigger ideas.

****

"Come on, Swan," he won't accept her refusal; it's obvious she needs a break. Even in the last few months, he can tell she's almost at a breaking point. The wedding plans, Neal, and the daily stresses of the office were taking their toll.

****

Her eyes flick up to his in annoyance that shoots some of his confidence. "I said not now." He almost leaves her alone, just to spite her. Sometimes it would just be easier to leave it be. His heart would certainly thank him.

****

From his back pocket he pulls a small black remote about half the size of his fist. "But I'll let you press the button." Her eyes glance back up to his and he can finally see that glint of mischief. She hold out her hand, and he gives it up, letting his fingers linger for just a moment longer while she wraps her delicate digits around the remote. It's all he can do to pull himself away from the small moment of contact, something that he so desperately craves when he's around her. Honestly, he's surprised he's able to keep up such of a 'best friend' facade. He has always wanted more than that, but he doesn't want to hurt her because she's with Neal.

****

"What's it do?"

****

Killian slides around her desk and comes to kneel next to her. "Press and find out." Her smile is like oxygen to him as she flicks her eyes between him and the red button. "Go on, Swan." She shrugs and places a thumb on the button.

****

At first nothing happen, but then a beep sounds through the office and David's coffee explodes all over his shirt.

****

"Jones!" David is furious, his grumpy demeanor quickly changing to range as he sprints, actually sprints, to the men's bathroom. If Killian thought they'd be in any danger whatsoever of Robin, their boss, reprimanding him, he wouldn't of done it. One glance toward his office shows a small smirk, but an otherwise turned head. 

****

Emma's turned in her chair trying to hide her laughter. His hand is on her elbow as he laughs with her, trying to keep himself upright. "Seriously, that was the best," he manages through his fit of laughter. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Belle giving him the evil eye for being so loud. He tries to tone it down a notch, but just cannot get over the face that David made when the coffee first exploded. Of course, he'd been nice enough to wait until it had cooled slightly before setting off the caffeine bomb.

****

A creak.

****

Both of their heads turn to the door and in comes Neal. Killian's enjoyment depletes in a flash. He forgets his hand on her elbow.

****

"Trying to cop a feel, Jones?" His nostrils flair unattractively. Killian removes his hand, suddenly aware he's gotten her in trouble. It's always the last thing he wants because he's never sure what's she's going home to. Neal seems like a nice enough guy, but there's nothing that really stands out as someone you want to spend a whole lot of time with...he might be biased though.

****

"We were just having a little bit of fun," Emma comes to stand, quickly pulling even further away from Killian. She stands next to Neal. She only does that when he comes in, as if they've done something wrong by enjoying each other's company. It's not like he makes her laugh that often, the task of making Swan come away from the daily troubles of life always falls to him, not that he's complaining.

****

"Oh yeah. So much fun." He's still eyeing Killian.

****

He has no idea what Emma sees in him, or how she thinks this man is what she deserves. She deserves everything, and that is not what he's giving her.

****

"Come on, Neal," her eyes are drooping again. He can practically hear how exhausted she is.

****

"Fine." Even as he says it, he's still looking at Killian. It's unnerving.

****

They go to lunch and she doesn't look at him as they leave.

****

-

****

"Yeah, Emma's great..I mean, everyone here is pretty nice."

****

"No, no, we're just friends. Emma's engaged to Neal, we just have fun together." He's not sure who he's trying to convince.

****

-

****

It's after lunch that they come back together; Neal kisses her a little too roughly for Killian's liking. He has to look away until he's gone, but even after Emma won't meet his eyes. She continues to look at the computer screen, even though he knows there hasn't been any calls her entire lunch break. He would know considering he only took a break to eat a few gummy bears at his desk.

****

It's five before she even glances up at him as he taps on her desk once again. "Swan."

****

Her eyes just barely leave the screen and touch his for a moment. She pulls her blue cardigan tighter around herself. "Hm?"

****

With a scratch to the back of his head, he continues rather awkwardly. "I'm, uh, sorry if I made you feel uncom-"

****

"No, no. It's fine," she hurried to cut him off. Not even letting him get out what he wants to. "I'll just see you on Monday?" It's a peace offering that she'd begging him to take. Begging to drop the earlier incident between them.

****

It's a deep sigh that he has to suppress next. "Yeah, Monday." He slings on his coat and forces a smile.

****

-

****

"Seriously, how many bloody times to I have to say we're just friends? She. Is. Engaged. My feelings don't really matter in this situation because of that."

****

"You guys need to stop."

****

-

****

"Killian? Yeah, he's my best friend. Like, when I'm having a bad day or have seen too many stationary envelopes for the wedding, he always knows how to make me feel better."

****

"No..I mean..I love Neal. I tell him stuff about my day too."

****

"Of course I hope Killian finds love. What kind of question is that?"

****

-

****

_"Come on, Jones." He's trying to give himself a pep talk about the doors of Apple Tree Paper Company. It's just an entry level sales job, nothing he can't handle. On the contrary, it's also his first job since leaving Ireland. He's so tired still. The time change hadn't yet caught up with him despite already living in his flat for two weeks._

****

_The glass door creaks as he pushes it open and he inwardly cringes. Of course it would creak. A mop of curly blonde hair turns up from behind the reception desk and a warm smile greets him._

****

_His introduction is awkward at best, but the girl doesn't seem to mind. She seems almost amused as the entire office turns to stare at him. It's obviously because of his accent. Still, he can't shake the feeling this woman is giving him._

****

_She points to an open desk opposite to a slightly hunched over man. Her eyes are almost telling him good luck in a challenging manner. Unsurely, he makes his way over, but allows himself one more look to the lass._

****

_She is beautiful._

****

_After a few moments, and the hundredth yawn of the day, he can feel a set of eyes watching him. He turns in the general direction, but only finds the Swan girl with her head ducked low._

****


	2. Peach Fruit Cup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some fluff, with a side note of disappointment of course.

_With his first week down at the paper company, he thinks he can handle it. Figuring out how to type with only one hands is still a challenge, but he’s sure he’ll eventually figure it out. The pain still bothered him, but with only missing it for four months, he should expect it. The prosthetic chafed against the irritated skin, but he wasn’t going to come into the job without it. David had made a huge deal about it on his second day and he couldn’t imagine the embarrassment if he came in without a hand._

_He opened the fridge, searching for his sandwich, and noticed the familiar peach fruit cup with a past expiration date decorating the front. Being in the office only a week, he still wasn’t familiar with his co-workers lunch choices and decided just to leave it, better to not rock the boat. As he’s sitting down to eat his plain sandwich, Emma comes in and smiles at him. She retrieves the fruit cup from the fridge and heads back to her desk._

_Torn between just letting it go and saving her from possible food poisoning, he decides to get up and follow her to her desk. She has the cup open and is about to stick a fork in._

_He clears his throat and she looks up. “There’s no way I should know this, but that fruit cup you’re about to eat has expired.”  
She stares at him for a moment before checking to see if he’s right, and then she starts laughing. “My knight in blue button-up shirt, you have saved my stomach. I owe you my life.” _

____-_ _ _ _

____"Yeah, can I speak to Mr. Robert Gold? It's Killian Jones from Apple Tree Paper Company calling."  
She's listening to him on the phone instead of filing. Not that she really has much to do anyways. Maybe a few calls will come in and she'll have to make a few copies, but most of the time she isn't that busy. The job was an entry level position that she started out in seven years prior in her early twenties. College wasn’t really in the cards because of her lack of finances, barely able to even afford a small apartment in the small town of Storybrooke. _ _ _ _

____-_ _ _ _

____"Yeah, it's my one huge sale a year that makes up a quarter of my yearly salary. I make one call to Mr. Gold to renew his supplies. I even have a small bottle of rum stashed away in my desk to celebrate after I make the call."_ _ _ _

____-_ _ _ _

____She's made to look up from the computer at the sound of the monstrous paper shredder. It was the loudest thing in the office. Killian was glaring and pointing angrily at the phone to his ear. There was no way he could hear the client._ _ _ _

____"I'm way overdue on my shredding anyways," David shrugged, completely nonplussed.  
Killian reaches over and furiously pulls the plug on the shredder. "That's better, “Mr. Gold. About your-" He’s cut off._ _ _ _

____"Conference room. Now." Robin is out of his office and Killian groaned, his head dropping to the desk for a moment. Emma rolls her eyes and grabs her notepad to head into the meeting._ _ _ _

____She hears him groan again from his desk before she’s out of earshot. "Mr. Gold, I'm going to have to call you back."_ _ _ _

____-_ _ _ _

____"Sales are up, but I have a few prospective clients that I want to check out this week. I'm sending Killian and David out on sales calls after this meeting," Robin inclines his head toward the both of them. Emma sees Killian let out a deep breath and sit up straighter. She's sure this won't go well. "Also, please make sure to get your paperwork in on time this week. The quarter is ending soon and Regina will be in next week for review."_ _ _ _

____Another event Emma was far from excited for. Regina Mills was one of the heads in charge of the company and she was beyond frightening. She and Robin always had this unnerving amount of sexual intention that she would never understand, and having to take notes on their meetings was always...interesting._ _ _ _

____No one seems interested enough to make any comments and Robin shrugs. "Alright. Dismissed. Killian and David head out."_ _ _ _

____She tries to make eye contact with him as they go, but he's in such a bad mood that he seems to not notice. Every time they go one sales calls together, someone always comes back either hurt or furious. Why Robin still sends them out together, she'll never understand._ _ _ _

____-_ _ _ _

____It's five thirty, with only three other people in the office, when Killian comes storming in with David right behind him._ _ _ _

____"We had that, Jones! You shouldn't talk so much." The man is fuming as he grabs his things violently. In the process, he knocks over a cup of pencils, swears, and storms from the desk._ _ _ _

____Emma looks up from the end of her filing with a raised eyebrow. Killian's at his desk furiously grabbing his desk phone. She would hate to be the number keys he was pressing so harshly._ _ _ _

____"Yeah, it's Killian Jones for Mr. Gold." He's silent for a moment, with only a lingering glare for David. She can tell the news from the line is not good and her suspicion is confirmed when he slams the receiver down to its holder._ _ _ _

____"Company property!" David's halfway out the door, but still managing to annoy the hell out of everyone left.  
Killian flops down in his desk chair, hands in his hair._ _ _ _

____-_ _ _ _

____"Yeah, I lost my biggest client because of that prick. Guy couldn't shut up for one second so I could make the sale and we ended up lost in the middle of nowhere. Gold decided that three hang-ups was too much and decided to go with a bigger brand name."_ _ _ _

____“What happened out there? Leroy decided to focus on bashing the competition instead of promoting our products. He told me to shut up three times during the sale. The manager was not impressed.”_ _ _ _

____-_ _ _ _

____"Jones?" He can hear her tentative voice. Her desk chair squeaks and she's moving toward his desk. She leans against it and taps him on the shoulder; his face is still flopped over in his hands. It’s already been a long day and he’s not entirely sure that he can handle keeping up his façade around her. Holding himself back from admitting his feeling is draining._ _ _ _

____Reluctantly, he picks himself up and plasters on an extremely fake smile. It's all he can do to shrug and pretend it's all fine even though he's losing a big chunk of his salary. "Swan."_ _ _ _

____She pats his prosthetic hand, the one he lost only a few months before moving to America, and opens his desk drawer without a word. Looking around, she finally finds his mini bottle of his favorite Irish whiskey and places it on the desk in front of him. "I think this is well deserved anyways." From the bottom drawer she pulls out his tumbler to set on the desk._ _ _ _

____Robin is already gone and it's past five, so she really doesn't care about the consequences.  
He raises and eyebrow and leans down to the bottom drawer, pulling out a second tumbler and hands them both to her, taking the whiskey for himself. "Break room?"_ _ _ _

____She shrugs and leads the way to the small back room where they can at least drink without prying eyes. The year before she had taken a drink of his whiskey, but otherwise left him alone to celebrate. This year there wasn't much to celebrate._ _ _ _

____-_ _ _ _

____“No? Why would his prosthetic bother me?”_ _ _ _

____“Also no. I have not seen his actual arm without the hand. He doesn’t talk about it._ _ _ _

____-_ _ _ _

____He's pouring them each a glass as they lean in the hard plastic chairs._ _ _ _

____"Bad day?" Her eyebrow is raised and it's not like he can lie to the human equivalent of a polygraph._ _ _ _

____Taking a swig and relishing in the burn, he shrugs. "Lost the Gold account."_ _ _ _

____She cringes, knowing how big it is, "Damn, I'm sorry." He nods._ _ _ _

____Instead of anything else that she knows won’t help, she scoots over her chair and leans her head on his shoulder._ _ _ _

____-_ _ _ _

____“Not a bad day, I guess.”_ _ _ _

____-_ _ _ _


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I hope no one minds, but I changed Leroy to David in this story. I'm not entirely happy with how it's going, and I hope you all enjoy the rest.

-

"Emma, can you please make sure Robin finishes up the paperwork today. I really don't want to stay until seven this time," Mary Margaret, from accounting, was hanging out around her desk.

"I'll definitely try," Emma rolled her eyes inwardly and she walked away.

The woman did have a point though, the last time Robin had so much paperwork to sign they were at the office well into the night. It ended up being Killian to trick him into signing them by getting him to practice writing with his left hand.

She eyed the second stack of pay checks that he had to sign every Friday and decided to finally grab them. 

-

Twenty minutes later she left his office even more overwhelmed than when she went in. The paychecks were not her responsibility, but they would blame her if it didn’t get done. She suspected that was the reason Killian jumped in for her the year before. He always managed to save her like that. 

Her desk chair squeaked as she sat down and Killian raised his head from his desk. His prosthetic was under his desk and he was typing on the computer with one hand. She shrugged and set back to looking at the file on her desk. 

Every so often, she’d look back up. Killian’s face would grimace every so often and he started fingers around the edges of his prosthetic. The only thing she knew about his injury was that it was a few years ago, it was hard to imagine that it would still cause him pain.

-

He came up to her desk an hour later. “Would you mind faxing these for me?” He handed over about ten sheets of stock. Looking up, she noticed he was looking at the ground and switched to eyeing the wall. 

“What, broke your arm?” She snickered, but he just shrugged. Standing from the squeaky chair, she started fumbling with the machine. The fax machine was a tad tricky, but usually he’d just use his prosthetic to press the numbers while jamming the paper through. “Everything okay, Kil?” Reaching over, she caught the edge of his blue dress shirt before he could turn away again. 

He forced a smile, she can always tell, “Hand’s just giving me a day, Swan. Thanks for faxing those.” He took his originals back and headed over to his desk where he put his head down for a moment. Robin still hadn’t signed the forms. 

-

“No, I don’t know what’s bothering him. He is acting weird though. Maybe it’s his hand?”

“I wish he would just talk to me for once. The man is so guarded, it’ like a prison in his mind.”

-

“I’m fine.” 

“Emma said what?”

“No, I’m fine. She should mind her own business.”

-

David headed into Robin’s office around 4:30 and came out twenty minutes later with signed paychecks for her. “Your welcome,” he smiled. “I noticed the pirate wasn’t coming to your rescue.” As he finished distributing the paperwork by last name, he eyed Mary Margaret in the back with what she assumed was longing. It was odd her for to see him with emotions, but the woman blushed. 

“Thank you, David.” She smiled as he went back to his seat. Still, she was disappointed that Killian hadn’t chipped in. Maybe she didn’t have the right though. He wasn’t he boyfriend, she wasn’t even she he was her friend on days like they seemed to be having. Feelings weren’t his specialty, but even for him this was a big flop. It had to be his hand, there was no other explanation that made sense. 

With five minutes left on the work day, she shut down the computer and packed up her leftover files. Killian glanced up to her, but she wouldn’t meet his eyes. She really didn’t want to push him.

Most of the office had left by the time she put her coat over her shoulders and grabbed her purse. He was still at his desk when she stood. “Need a ride, Jones?” Usually he biked to work, but she knew if it was his hand it would strain the muscle there. 

“I’m fine, Swan.” He glanced down at his arm, but back to the computer screen that was slowly shutting down.

Emma put a hand on his shoulder. “Come on, Kil. Let me take you home, I know your hand’s bothering you.” 

“I think I’ll pass on the ride with your fiancé.” She raised an eyebrow. 

“Just you and me, Neal’s out with a friend.” Taking him by the arm, she gave a gentle pull and he stood up. 

-

Killian lived twenty minutes from the office, but she’d never seen his home before. Neal had been pretty upset the first time she had told him Killian had invited her over. It wasn’t even anything special, just a get together with some people form the office. Neal had threatened to leave if she went, and eventually she decided that it was better not to rock the boat. 

“Why didn’t you tell me it was your hand? I’d rather an explanation than the cold shoulder routine.” She turned down the radio just a tad, but he took a few minutes to even respond to her. Humming alone to the song, she waited out for his answer.

“It’s just pain from the prosthetic.” 

There seemed to be an obvious solution. “Why don’t you just take it off? It’d probably help.” 

“Swan..” He groaned and turned to look out the dark window. 

“Jones, I just don’t get it.”

“It’s my hand, and you can’t understand that. Just let it go, I’m not your boyfriend.” The silence in the aftermath was one where she could tell he regretted it. It stung. Hard. Almost like a slap to the face. He was her best friend really, no one else in the office was someone she could really get along with. To be honest with herself, she could talk to him about more things than she could with Neal. 

“Fine, I’ll back off.” 

They rode the rest of the way in silence until she pulled up to his house.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obvious I'm deviating from the show, but I don't want everyone to know what's going to happen officially

She pulls up to the small driveway of his home. It’s a decent sized home with little anchors littering the lawn as lights and what she thinking is a boat for a mailbox. Killian is still glancing out the window when she cuts the engine and waits for him to just leave. The earlier insult still stung and she really just didn’t want to talk to him about it. Maybe he didn’t want to be friends anymore, she wasn’t sure. His behavior throughout the day would certainly lend to that assumption.

“Swan?” Emma can tell he’s turned towards her now, but she decides to carry on staring out the front window. It’s no use to continue the argument, it will just make going home to a quiet home harder. Originally she had plans to talk to him about the company awards ceremony coming up, but that went out the window.

“Swan, please. I’m sorry,” he sighs and scratches at the back of his neck, “it’s this bloody thing. It gets the better of me sometimes.” It’s a peace offering, a chance to bury the hatchet they have forming between them. It only takes her a moment to decide whether or not to continue their feud.

“Look,” she turns toward him and sees his hopeful eyes, “I get that we’re not dating, I have a fiancé, but I was hoping we were at least friend.” The feeling of getting it off her chest does not satisfy or even encourage her to continue to yell at him. His face falls in the subtlest way, eyebrows drooping and shinning eyes turning dark.

“We are-“

Emma shakes her head, “Just go, Killian. I’m not in the mood.” It’s easier to close herself off than she had originally suspected. She turns back to the window and waits for him to take the hint.

It takes him only a minute to get it through his head that she’s not going to talk any further. “As you wish.” He opens the door and retrieves his bike from the back with only the slightest grimace that she can see. The minute he’s closing the door she’s starting the car back up. She feels worse than when he was in the car as his shoulders slump all the way up to his front door, but she doesn’t stay to see him get inside.

-

When she gets home the house is empty and she knows Neal is still out. He’ll be back around two in the morning drunk off his ass and probably wanting sex. Drunk Neal always wants sex when she doesn’t. It would be an interesting night for her.

-

When she comes into the office in the morning, exhausted from her night, she notices a blueberry muffin, her favorite, and a coffee waiting for her. The coffee is still warm when she takes a grateful sip and looking up to the desk across from hers. Killian has a small smile on his lips as he turns his head to her, but it fades slightly when he takes in her face.

She knows her face is pale and there are dark circles under her eyes. Her appearance just says ‘I’m a mess’. The night only lent her about a half hour of sleep between trying to persuade Neal to stop trying to jump her and him throwing up about five times.

_Thank you,_ she mouths to his. The morning had not been something she was thrilled with, but the welcoming present had perked her up.

Killian nods with a small smile and holds up his own coffee in response.

She sits down gently in the chair and starts up her computer. There are about five unheard messages on the phone, only three of them from Neal. She erases them with a sigh and takes a bite of the muffin.

-

Her computer pings with a message around four thirty.

_KJones: Still mad at me, Swan?_

She looks up from her computer, but he won’t turn his head up to meet her eyes.

_ESwan: I’ve accepted the offering. It would be wrong to go back_

Killian doesn’t respond for a few minutes and she wonders if he ever will when it finally pings.

_KJones: Rough night?_

_ESwan: Something like that_

_KJones: I don’t get why you stay with him_

She doesn’t responds and she looks up to see his lips in a hard line.

-

“Roy and I just work. That’s all there is to it.”

“No, I don’t plan to break it off for Killian. That question is crossing the line.”

-

Five comes rolling around and Neal comes in office front door to pick her up. It’s easier to carpool most days when neither of them have anything to do after work. The ride in the morning was silent, but she didn’t have it in her to continue being mad.

“Come on, babe,” he motions to the door. She cuts a quick glance to Killian who still won’t look her way.

Emma turns off her computer and tosses the coffee cup in the trash, the muffin wrapper long gone.

-

“I know, I shouldn’t have said it, but sometimes it gets to me. He has no idea what he has and treats her as such.”

“You know, I try to be there for her but she just makes it so hard sometimes. Watching him bring her down day after day is taking its toll. Did you see her eyes this morning?”

-

He wants to throw something at a wall as she leaves. It’s not fair. Still, he’s sure the night will look better with a drink… or a few.

 

 


	5. Concussion

The morning seems to hit Killian hard.

He comes in with red eyes and most likely a pounding headache by the way he flinches when the phone rings. David hasn’t come in yet which is probably helping the situation, but he’s never late so it’s odd.

In repayment of what he brought for her the day before, she takes a break to head to the nearest coffee shop.

-

“Rough night?” She asks, approaching his desk with her treasure in tote.

He picks his head up from the position of flat on his desk that it’s been for probably five minutes to give her a slightly smile. “Something like that,” he echoes her message.

“I come bearing gifts,” she announces quietly and lays down the black coffee and three aspirin.

His features relax as he quickly takes the aspirin with a gulp of coffee. “Swan, you are officially my favorite person.” It’s just a thing, a thing that should not make her heart flutter or her stomach kick, but it does.

“Was I not before?” It’s the only thing she can think to say in response. Her heart is still fluttering and it’s a good thing that he’s hungover or he might have noticed. He is always in tune with her emotions.

One of his eyebrows raise questioningly and he shrugs.

-

“There is no one else. She is my favorite person. I mean, she brought me coffee and aspirin.”

-

The office phone starts ringing about half past ten, long after David should have come into work. She looks at it with disdain.

“Apple Tree Paper Company, this is-“

 _“Emma! It’s David. I need you to come get me!”_ There’s an unmistakable panic in his voice that she has never heard before.

“Woah, calm down. What happened?” Killian looks up with questioning eyes, and her expression immediately makes him come to her desk.

_“I’ve been hurt, I need you to come get me.”_

“David, do you need me to call an ambulance?” Robin is now out of his office and the rest of the staff are staring. Mary Margaret has her hand hovering over her mouth as she looks with unrestrained concern.

 _“No, no, I got my hand stu-“_ Killian is taking the headset out of her hand and pressing the speaker button, thankfully alleviating her stress.

“David,” he’s talking loudly so the whole office can hear, “tell us really loudly what happened.”

_“My hand. It’s stuck in the horse stall, I tried to pull it out, but it just made it worse. I need Pam to come get me.”_

Killian rolls his eyes, the situation is more than comical now. “Dave, Emma can’t leave her desk. I’ll just come check it out.”

 _“No! Not, Killian.”_ There’s silence for a moment. _“Please don’t send Killian.”_

He motions for her to hang up the headset and she complies with a raised eyebrow. “You’re going to pick him up?”

“I’m definitely not letting anyone else go, I just have to see this, love.” His eyes are laughing and she wonders if he notices the term of endearment he just let slip. She notices.

-

“Love… it’s just a term of endearment.”

“Yes, extremely hungover. I was out until about four, slept two hours, and then had to get ready to come to this. My head is killing me, little bit of blurry vision. Probably shouldn’t be driving, but this is going to be a sight to behold.”

-

She watches him leave, but holds herself back from watching him out the window.

-

The drive to David’s is about twenty minutes, but he only makes it about a mile down the road when his vision goes blurry. He can’t see and he’s afraid of what’s to come. Thankfully the street is deserted, but he can’t see and he’s driving a moving vehicle. There’s a loud horn and he whips the car to the right, hoping to avoid the oncoming car that was assumingly coming straight for him.

The next thing he knows is a large crash and he’s world goes dark.

-

He wakes unsure of how much time has passed, but knowing he needs help by how bad his head is pounding. He’s able to reach his phone, but the numbers are blurry. 911 is out of the question, but he can find the two, or what he hopes is the two.

-

Back at the office, Emma’s phone starting ringing, not the office phone, but her cellphone. It’s Killian’s stupid face that lights up her screen and she slides the green arrow across the screen.

“Is David alright?” She’s laughing, until she heard the heavy breathing on the other end of the line. “Killian?”

More heavy breathing. “Emma, I think I h-hit a street pole or something. I need you t-to get me, I can’t see the phone,” his voice his shaking and striking fear into her. She’s grabbing her keys and running into the wintery weather without even a coat without a moment’s thought.

“I’m on my way, I should probably call an ambulance, Killian.” She’s driving, but it’s slow going because of the amount of snow on the road. It’s not surprising that he slid on the ice.

“ _No, I think I’m fine, but my visions blurry.”_

She’s about a mile away from the office when she sees his car with the front end banged into a metal pole. There’s not much damage to the front of the car. Cutting the engine, she races from the car to the mess. There are no other cars on the road to worry about.

“Killian?” Emma throws open the front door and finds him with a pale face and eyes closed.

Lazily, his eyes open, “Hey, Em.” It’s a name she hasn’t heard from him before that causes another little flutter.

“Come on, Jones,” she wraps an arm around his waist to help him from the car. He’s woozy on his feet and they almost slip on the ice twice. It has to be a concussion. The thought crosses her mind again when he starts laughing after the second slip.

-

“Mmm, where are you taking me?”

She looks over to his hunched over form, “Hospital.”

Killian is silent again for a few moments before he giggles again. “So pretty, Em.” Rolling her eyes, she pushes him back against the seat again.

-

A nurse takes him for a CT only moments after they arrive once she reveals he’d taken aspirin. Apparently it can give bigger chance to a brain bleed after head trauma. She stays in the waiting room once they take him and calls to let Robin know why she dashed out. He let her know that he would call the police to take care of David.

-

Two cups of watery black coffee later the same nurse that had taken down information came to the waiting room to find her. The woman recognized her easily out of the other three people in the waiting room. It seemed to be a slow day for the Storybrooke Hospital.

“Ms. Swan?” She nods to the woman whose tag reads ‘Anna’. “Mr. Jones’ scan came back. He has a moderate concussion and no bleeding or swelling. If you don’t mind coming with me, he’s asking for you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Killian has the concussion? Sometimes I just can't help myself


	6. Chapter 6

She stops. There's no way she's going into a hospital room with him lying there, least of all alone. Killian, who has been her best friend, who seems to bring her to the brink before pushing her away. Who listens to her rants and gives her Irish whiskey when he's upset. Who has never let her seem him without some type of armor. She can feel her heart pounding in her chest as blood roars in her ears. It's enough to push her a step back and raise the nurse's questioning eye.

"I'm-I'm sorry. I have to go," she backing further now, but still facing. Her mind is going to make her run for reasons she cannot fully understand. It's Killian, she should be able to go in there to make sure he's alright, but there's something more.

"Ms. Swan?"

Emma shakes her head vigorous. "No, I have to get back to the office. Just tell Mr. Jones that I had already left." She turns on her heals and starts on the fastest pace she can without running into someone.

The nurse is left staring at her back and blonde, flowing hair. It's not every day that people run from their loved ones in the hospital, but it does happen. Usually with forgotten lovers, but she had noticed an engagement ring on the woman's finger. Entirely beside herself, she makes her way back to her patient's room with less than favorable news.

"Mr. Jones?" She knocks once to be polite before entering. His eyes are bloodshot and he's squinting against the harsh light. "The Ms. Swan you described was not the in waiting room. I'm sorry."

It's like she can see his face flash through different emotions. First his eyes squint further and he shakes his head slightly before they close and he nods. "You're sure?" There's a tiny twinge of hope in his features as his eyebrows lift.

"Quite sure, Mr. Jones. Is there anyone I can call?" She hopes the man has some family to take care of him at least for a few days.

"No, there's no one."

0

At the office, Emma enlightens everyone to Killian's stable condition and takes a seat behind her desk. Robin is the only one to raise an eye, but says nothing.

David is at his desk with a slight red tinge to his cheek. She can only imagine how he got his head stuck in a horse stall and what he was doing to warrant sticking his head in. He looks up from the computer and she quickly looks to the stack is Post-It's on her desk. The paper is enhanced with Killian's delicate script.

_Swan, Ingrid called while you were on break. We had a nice little chat, but you should probably phone her._

0 _Jones_

She stares at the note for much longer than necessary, at least five minutes by the clock across from her desk. It's something small again, something that should not affect her in any way. Ingrid has heard all about Killian Jones and the woman is bound not to let up now that they had spoken. Sure, she tolerates Neal, but it's Killian she goes on about.

0

Around 4:30 the office organizes two runs to the hospital, and she can't avoid him any longer with arising suspicion. She takes David and Mary0Margaret in her car on the second run who make heart eyes at each other the whole ride. It's sickening.

There's seven of them who go to the hospital, and it's way to many. Someone should have suggested another group.

Emma finds a nurse who shows them to Killian's room and informs them they have fifteen minutes. Killian has a level two concussion and they need to keep from overwhelming him. The number of people they brought will not help the situation.

Emma goes in last, behind David, and stands more to the back. It feels odd and Robin looks sideways at her. Killian is sleeping when they enter and she takes the time to examine him further.

There's a gash on his forehead with a few stitches and a bruise over his left eyes. Not too much physical damage. What cat he's her eye at the last second is his hand, or lack thereof. It's the first time she's seen him without the prosthetic. She had made it out to be worse in her head, but it just ends abruptly before his wrist. Skin shines around a slightly red, long scar still present at the end.

David knocks into a case of fake flowers resting on the table next to the bed which wakes Killian. His eyes open groggily and they are bloodshot. The light seems to pain him as he squints.

"Ah, group two," there is gruffness to his voice that had not been there before. "I'd prefer less staring."

0

He wakes to fourteen eyes boring into him, but he only sees two. The light is hard to keep his eyes open against but her blues are like a cloud to keep him sane. She stands in the far back and he feels the hurt once again from when she left. Of course, she is not his girlfriend. He must constantly remind him that being with him is not her job.

"How're you feeling, mate?" Robin thankfully breaks the uncomfortable silent with a quiet voice.

He shrugs because in truth he feels awful. "Just dandy."

The guests look awkwardly at each other, except Emma who stares at her toes in her black flats.

"You'll be back to work soon then?"

"Not quite," he shakes his head, but winces against the strain it seems to put on his mind, "I have to take a few days or so off."

Robin nods and looks to the others for some help.

"It was nice if you all to come, but I think I should sleep." He notices that his stump is out in the open and quickly shoves it under the blankets. The concussion has slowed his thought process. He should have noticed sooner.

"Of course," Robin nods and behind to usher everyone out.

Killian can see the war raging within Emma ad the others file out. She is stuck staring at her shoes, but he can see she's about to bolt.

"Swan.." He keeps his voice as gently as possible and probably pretty weak, but it doesn't matter. It takes on a moment for her head to turn up and her eyes to meet his for the first time. The crowd leaving stops for a moment and stares.

Emma breaks his gaze. "Uhm, I'll be out in a minute," she tells them. They file out without another word.

0

She watches them go with slight longing, but it will not be possible for her to exit without at least speaking to him. When he called her name, she knew there was no getting out.

Moving closer to the side of the bed, she sits in the plastic chair. "Jones."

He opens his eyes more than a squint with seeming difficultly. "I was wondering if you would stay for just a little while?" It seems of great importance to him to be able to see her whole face.

Emma nods. "Of course." A pause. "I'm sorry for leaving earlier, I was called back."

The look on his face tells her he knows she's lying, but he doesn't call her on it. "I understand." His voice is gentle and she wants to hold his hand. "Can you..um..turn off the light?" He gestures to the switch on the wall next to the bed and she obliged.

Killian sighs in relief as they are plunged into a darker room. There is still a soft light coming from the lamp on the other side of the room, but it doesn't seem to bother him as much. There's a piece of hair that falls over his left eye and Emma has to hold herself back from brushing it away. They need to keep clear boundaries.

"So," she starts, standing up from the chair, "I'll see you in a couple days then."

Killian's hand catches her wrist before she can go too far. "Swan..can you just sit a moment?" It's his voice as it cracks at the end that breaks her no0touching rule. Her fingers brush the fallen hair from his eye. It's soft and silky against her fingers and she can't help but run through it again.

Scanning the mechanics of the bed, she stops down the rail and sits on the edge of the bed. "Is everything alright? You only have a concussion." He seems more shaken up than by the incident that she'd suspected. More vulnerable as well. His eyes glance down to his covered stump before back up to her face.

"It was a car accident, wasn't it?"

He nods slightly.

The hospital didn't give him any painkillers so she knows he's not drugged. He's talking because he wants to..or because of the shock.

"How'd it happen?" He's not looking at her now.

"Drunk driving. Wrapped around a pole. They pulled me out, but I lost the hand..and my brother."

Emma doesn't know what to say so she wraps a hand around his left forearm. He flinches and tries to pull back, but she doesn't let go. "I'm so sorry, Killian." The nurse from before walks in with a two minute warning as she's finishing her sentence.

He nods to the woman and brings his eyes up to meet hers. "They're keeping me overnight." There's a twinge of fear in his features and she doesn't want to think about all the time he spent alone in the hospital the first time. The time he had to spent dealing with the death of his brother and loss of his hand.

"I'll take you home in the morning? I'm sure Robin will let me off." It's the best she can offer since she knows no one else will be around.

The corner of his mouth quirks up slightly. "Okay, Swan."

She slides her fingers through his silky hair once more before heading out to David and Mary Margaret. 

0

"No, I'm not going to tell Neal about Killian. It doesn't concern him and it'll just stir up things."

0

"Yes, I did want her to stay."

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so it took me forever because I have like no motivation, but I hope you're enjoying this!

Emma heads into Robin's office around 11:30.

"Of course, Emma. Give Killian my best," his smile is genuine and makes her feel a little lighter. The whole day she'd almost fallen asleep on her desk.

She heads to her car and starts the drive to the hospital. The night had definitely been long as she worried over Killian in the hospital. It is as her assumption that he'd call if he needed anything, but she just couldn't get off the fact that he wasn't okay.

0

"Killian Jones?" Emma inquires at the Nurses' Station.

The woman sitting managing typed a few strokes into the computer. "You're Emma Swan?" A nod. "Perfect. He's ready to be discharged. Room 435, just down the hall."

Emma thanked the woman and found the room to her right. If the door had been closed, she would've hesitated, but Killian saw her immediately from his position sitting on the bed. Clad in sweatpants and a white tee0shirt, he looked different than she had ever seen him. His biceps stretched across the thin fabric.

"Ready, Jones?"

He smiles warmly at her and it fills her. It’s not something that she wants to admit, but the warmth is not something she feels with Neal. The feeling of being completely enwrapped in someone else’s aura is something entirely new to her, and it’s frightening. She can almost feel him seeing into her soul, past the walls she has so carefully constructed to keep going, and right to the heart of everything she holds dear. Unfortunately, it feels as if there’s not much there to be seen. The constant stream of new families and disappointments has left her with a giant hole that seems unfillable, even by Killian’s warmth.

Her own smile fades at the thought of not being able to ever be whole again, but she tries to find it before he notices. A small upward motion of one of his eyebrows, the one without the stiches above it, let’s her in that he can tell.

“Everything okay, Swan? I can call someone else to take me home.” It’s a gracious offer, but she knows that he doesn’t have anyone else. David would be his next bet, but she definitely was not going to make him sit through that.

“Yeah,” Emma smiles at him, “just thinking about some paperwork I have to fax later.” She takes a quick look down, hoping he won’t notice, to see if he still is without his prosthetic. It’s there. She feels almost disappointed that he doesn’t feel comfortable enough with her to leave it off. There’s no way that hunk of plastic and metal is comfortable, and she’s seen it irritating him. Still, she has to remind herself that he doesn’t owe her anything; that includes sharing parts of himself.

A nurse brings around a wheelchair while Emma pulls her car up to the entrance so he doesn’t have to walk far. Killian is slightly unsteady of his feet, so the nurse escorts him to the passenger door and waits until he’s seated. She can see the clench of his jaw and narrowing of his eyes, but she makes no comment as the nurse takes her final leave.

“Need help with your seatbelt too, Jones?” She mistakenly tries to make light of the situation. The air around them grows thicker with tension. If he clenches his teeth any harder, they’re sure to crack. “I’m going to stop by the pharmacy first to pick up your prescription,” is the only thing she can think to say.

“Do you ever shut up?” His British accent flairs to life stronger than usual and startles her enough that she has to jerk back over the white line. Killian Jones never shouts at her, he might shout with her, but never has his anger been directed her way. It’s startling and makes her want to climb into a hole. She feels embarrassed, but even after examining her actions, it doesn’t seem to warrant his reaction. How dare he scold her for helping him.

“Excuse you?” Her words feel like daggers exiting her mouth, and she hopes that he can feel them too. Killian doesn’t respond.

 He’s rubbing his temple and looking almost stricken at his outburst when she finally calms enough to take a glance. Emma’s anger feels as if to vanish into thin air. Of course he’s edgy, he just spent the night alone in a hospital; just like when his brother died. Slowly, she reaches from her lap to settle her palm on his lower thigh.

His warm, calloused hand rests on her own, but he doesn’t make any move to take her hand. She tries to tell herself that she is not disappointed.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, “I’ve been a little…”

“On edge?” She offers.

Killian hums in agreement.

0

She goes into the pharmacy alone to pick up the pain medication. When she hands him the bottle back in the car, he takes it with hesitant hands and a slightly disgusted expression.

0

Thankfully, she manages to find his house without any assistance and even finds the spare key hidden in a fake rock.

“That is entirely unsafe,” she tells him as she takes off her shoes in the entryway.

Killian shrugs, “Has yet to fail me.” He steps out of his tennis shoes while holding to her arm for support. Her hand hovers over his back protectively.

“Alright, Jones, to bed.” Emma makes a shooing motions toward the back hallway where she assumes his bedroom to be. There’s not much furniture in the living room, only a small couch and television, and the kitchen looks grossly understocked. “I’ll bring back a glass of water for the pills.” Killian nods and goes into the second door on the right.

The glasses are in the cupboard above the sink, where most people keep them, and she fills it with tap water. Pausing a moment to breath in her surroundings, she picks up the scent of salt water and something else earthly. It appeals to her so much that she wants to just burry her nose in the scent.

Killian is sitting up on the bed when she enters and offers him the glass. His bed is in the center of the room covered with a dark blue comforter and there’s a single bedside table with a small lamp that provides the only light at the moment.

He takes two pills from the bottle with a grimace that makes her want to smooth out the lines on his forehead, but she’s standing about two feet away from the bed. With his fingers, Killian makes a small motion to bring her closer and she complies.

“I do need to get back to the office, but I’ll come check on you after work if you want?” The situation seems too intimate for her, it’s time to remove herself.

Killian shrugs, not wanting to be a burden to her day. “I’ll be fine, Swan. I’ll see you at the office next week.”

Now it’s her time to raise an eyebrow, “Nice try, it’s not optional. I’ll see you around seven or eight.” Gently, she presses his shoulder down to the covers. “Get some rest, Killian.” Moving to take her leave, she can’t help but hesitate and she knows he feels it too by the way his breath hitches. When she leaves, he’ll be alone again, just like he’s been for years. In the years he’s worked at the office, she’s never even seen him with a girlfriend.

“Swan?” He sounds confused, but she can’t see his face to read his expression.

In the end, she turns back to him and leans in to press a feather light kiss to his forehead. “I’ll see you later, Killian.” He’s looking at her with confusion and a hint of something else that she can’t quite identify, but she only gives him a small smile.

 

 

 


End file.
